Deee Troit.

If you haven't recently spoken to me, received e-mail from me, exchanged faxes, IM's or text messages with me, been in the same room with me for more that six seconds, or driven past me going the other direction and not heeded my attempts to get you to stop and listen to what I have to say, then I probably haven't mentioned that I'm going to be on the sidelines of the Super Bowl on Sunday. So:

I'm going to be on the sidelines of the Super Bowl on Sunday.

Long story short, a good friend of mine works for ESPN the Magazine, and he needed assistants for his sideline photographers. My qualifications for this position are that I have arms and legs, so I was an obvious choice. In any event, my friend Lou and I will each be on a sideline at the Super Bowl, following the guys with the nine foot zoom lenses and they cruise up and down the field. Oh, and as temporary employees of ESPN the Magazine, we will be compensated for our services (financially, in addition to the BEING ON THE SIDELINES AT THE SUPER DAMN BOWL).

Life: Hey, Tyler's lap, I'm going to drop a Super Bowl sideline experience right into you. Is that going to work?

Tyler's Lap: Ummm, say what?

Life: Oh, and you're getting paid for it, too.

Tyler's Lap: Now you just get right out of town.

Life: No, really. And mileage. And per diem.

Tyler's Lap: Oh, man, just wait until I tell Tyler. His head is going to explode.

So, and I really have to wrap this up because I've got to finish fine-tuning the forty pages worth of dissertation that I promised I'd turn in tomorrow, I will be headed to Detroit tomorrow afternoon. On Friday, there is the ESPN party, at which I hope to be kicking back Hennessy with Sportscenter anchor Stuart Scott. Saturday is open, as far as I know, but I am going to use the free time to see how close my press credentials will get me to Steelers coach Bill Cowher's chin. The over/under is nine feet, and the betting windows are open. On Sunday, there is some sort of football game thingy which I must attend. If you happen to be watching said contest, look in the background for a guy wearing either bright red or bright yellow and sporting a blown-fuse expression of football glee. That will be me. Pay careful attention, because at some point my head actually might explode.

I am taking my computer with me and hope to update the blog as the weekend progresses, but in the very likely event that "NFL Primetime" anchor Chris Berman talks me into playing golf with him all weekend, I will at the least post everything when I get back on Monday.

In the meantime, if you'd like to read the Super Bowl blog of a real journalist-type person, ESPN.com's Chuck Klosterman is doing a very nice job. Go here.