Go Buy An Orange. Immediately.

Really, do. For whatever reason, the citrus gods have decided that March shall be the month of heavenly oranges of massive orangeness and deep sweetness and juice running down your fingers. You need to go out and get one right now if you like oranges even a little bit. I’m not kidding.

"Um,” say you, “you’re now dictating which produce we ought buy. Such goals were not mentioned in your introductory posting. Have you lost sight of the dream? Have you wandered astray into the orchard of temptation?”

(It is worth noting that you talk strangely. Why is this?)

Don’t worry. I am still coloring inside the lines. This is but a small detour to the not-in-a-box section of the grocery store. It will be worth it. When you get to your local fruiting establishment, skip the medium-sized bagged oranges, ignore the tangelos, do not be fooled by the pink grapefruit. Go directly to the large-as-your- head-oranges department. California Navel, #4012 (see below). They are currently three for two dollars or similar. Don’t worry too much about how they look, they’re all good right now. Buy one. Take it home. Eat it. Don’t waste it on fruit salad. Just sit down and eat it. Spectacular produce is one of the small joys of life. Go buy some before it’s gone. Yum.

Yes, this is my orange. I scanned it in.
Yes, just like in “Tron.”

*Promises of super-standard oranges may not apply to your geographical produce region. But really, what have you got to lose? Go buy one. And if you don't like oranges, well, then more for me.