Just-Slightly-Below-Room-Temperature Turkey

My dissertation is due in less than a month.

(Thunder rolls in the distance. The air crackles with lightning. An ominous wind swirls leaves in that ominous way that leaves are often swirled.)

In the spirit of Lent, and as a possibly interesting life experiment, I'm going to try something that I believe will slightly decrease my chances of setting myself on fire between now and then:

I'm going to give up the internet.

Well, sort of. This isn't pure cold turkey, because really, that would be insane. The internet is wonderful in about six million ways, and I can't dispose of all six million in one fell swoop without suffering from major communication and information withdrawal. I don't want to end up in a candle-lit room paging frantically through the 1987 World Book Encyclopedia and writing longhand letters to my friends, so this pledge of webstinence will come with a list of caveats. I am allowing myself access to:

1. E-mail and IM. I want to focus, not be cut off from my friends. Besides, think about the nightmare of an inbox that has not been checked for a month.

2. This blog. I would like to keep posting. Writing is good, and I need to do more of it. We'll come back to this in a bit.

3. Any job search or dissertation research sites. Duh.

4. Any specific page links sent to me via e-mail or IM. This caveat might sound like cheating, but I think it will do a lot to limit my internet time wastingness, and it will have some interesting side-effects. Most of my problem comes with rabbit hole interwebbing and over-browsing of front pages. You can only gain a limited amount of relevant knowledge from reading every article (and there are waaaaay too many) on the front page of ESPN, Slate, and the like. By limiting myself to specific articles only, I'll cut down substantially on time wasted learning about NBA trade rumors or the intricacies of the Scooter Libby trial. The second benefit will be to see the internet through the filter of my friends - or rather, through the filter of whoever the hell is still reading this blog. So, friends and strangers, if you stumble across a news item, sports article, video, or blog post (including new posts on your own blogs, please) that you feel is worth sharing, kindly send it along. I'm curious to know what you are looking at these days. And, okay, this whole may seem a little arrogant, ("Minions! Bring me the internet! Only the good stuff! And fetch me some more grapes!"), but just bear with me.

So that's the story. The fast ends March 16, the minute after I turn in the dissertation. And yes, this will probably guarantee that I completely waste the $20 I put into my annual NCAA tournament pool (no internet = no research resources = no chance at picking that sweet 16 sleeper). On the other hand, it's all pretty much wild guessing anyway.

Also, this: starting today, with this entry, there will be ten days of ten-minute writings. Because it's just about time, and it doesn't take that long, and really, there is no reason not to. So tune in tomorrow for ten minutes worth of unedited babbling about whatever I feel like. As always, thanks for playing.